It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
