This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
