help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
