I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
