You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
