I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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