am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
