His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
