No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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