I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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