I think I am morally bankrupt
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
