so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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