Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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