Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
