Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dicks are not precious.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
