My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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