Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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