:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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