I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
