are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
