i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
