Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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