HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
