i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
