I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
