Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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