The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
