so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
