): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
