Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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