But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
