Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
