when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
