i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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