so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i will never coherently bang her
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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