also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
