People in love make me want to vomit
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
