I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
