the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
