I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
