We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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