my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
