is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
