so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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