Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the day after is always just damage control
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
