Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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