She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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