I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Pants are for mortals
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
