whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize