I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
