Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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