i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
